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Inspiration, Tools & Tips!                                          AUGUST 2023

     

Dealing with failure

It can be a stepping stone, instead of a stumbling block

Whether they denied you a promotion at the office, you didn't qualify for a marathon, or your plan did not work out the way you wanted it to, failing feels bad. Many people will go to great lengths to avoid failing so they don't have to feel painful emotions.  

     
   
     
WELCOME! 
I'm glad you're back.How did your promotional efforts go? One thing is certain: to promote ourselves, we can fail. When we fail, we can make one mistake, the "end all" and "be all" for our lives. We can even think, "I am a failure." Or we can turn our heads a little to the left or the right and see it differently. It's important to know that there are things you can do to feel better. This month, we will look at how we can stop seeing our failures as stumbling blocks and turn them into steppingstones. Also, as I do every month,
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Learning to fail is a skill like any other. Which means it takes practice. Here's how you can approach a setback so that  — to paraphrase the Bible — you can be someone who can fall seven times and get back up again.

 

When we fail, we look for the reason. We ask ourselves questions like:

·  How could I have let my nerves get the best of me?

·  Why did they have the air conditioner too high or too low?

·  How could I have forgotten the words?

·  Why were they talking so loudly?

·  Why didn't I pass the test?

·  How could I have let ____ down?

That is just to list a few. These questions are typical. Setbacks cause us to question our abilities or skills, point to outside factors, or blame other people. When we focus outside of ourselves, it is easier to get over. Self-blame is a different story. Self-blame is such a problem because it can inhibit us from taking risks in the future. If you're going to be convinced you are flawed every time you fall short, why wouldn't you steer clear of uncertainty and play it safe?

 

Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford, calls this the "fixed mindset" — the belief that failure is a dead end instead of a stop on the road to improvement. What you want to have instead of a fixed mindset is a  "growth mindset" — the ability to see failure as an opportunity to learn.

 

As you move past failure, you might need to ask yourself the following questions:

·  What's the worst thing this failure can do to me/others?

·  Can I deal with the outcome of this failure?

·  Do I know what resources I will need to handle the outcome?

·  Do I have the resources, or can I get them?

·  What are some benefits of this failure?

 

What we all have to realize is, we are more than our mistakes. We may fail. However, if we allow ourselves to go on, we will have a lot of other chances to succeed. We have to stop being laser-focused on what we did wrong. We have to stop thinking that we are being evaluated and judged by everyone who knows us. This kind of distorted thinking is common. However, there are ways to stop yourself from engaging in it.

·  Reminding yourself that there have been times when you succeeded.

·  You are upset by a failure because you know what success feels like.

·  Think about some of your success to calm yourself after a misstep.

·  Don't pretend the mistake didn't happen, remember you are more than your mistake.

·  Don't waste time blaming someone else; own your part and move on.


If you have questions or need any assistance, please email us.  You can also call us @ 904-830-0737 and/or  set up a free consultation. (Please toggle "Business Consultation")

In the meantime, check out the freebies this month. Use them to help you. 

     

Business, Ministry, & Personal Application 

Business Application


Failure refers to the condition of not accomplishing what you desire. Failure typically results in negative feelings. However, these events can be learning experiences to help you develop and grow personally and professionally. Understanding how to handle failure in the workplace can help you change your perspective and identify helpful lessons. In this article, we discuss failures at work,


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Ministry Application


In the ministry arena, we define failure as sin, iniquity, and transgressions. 


Psalm 32:5 - Amplified Bible, Classic Edition I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord [continually unfolding the past till all is told]—then You [instantly] forgave me the guilt and iniquity of my sin. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

 

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Personal Application


There may be times when you experience failure. It may be in the workplace, at church, within your family, etc. It is very important to learn skills to cope with and overcome failure. Although failure can feel like a negative experience, it can also be a positive opportunity for growth and development. Please be willing to learn about failure and develop strategies for overcoming it. You can find positive ways of accepting and improving after failure

 

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Please go to the ministry website to find out more information about the ministry. You will read about what we are doing and find out how to take part in prayer and classes.


Ministry Information will no longer be in this newsletter. At God's Door is starting a newsletter of its own. If you would like, you can subscribe here.

 


     

  


FREEBIES


Here are this month’s free business, ministry and personal tools:


* Feeling Words

When we have words to describe how we're feeling we can know ourselves and others better, communicate more clearly, and ultimately consider strategies for managing how we feel.

* 12 Irrational Thoughts Even the Smartest People Have

Failure can cause irrational thought. You are not alone.  People yo hold in high esteem fail and they have to deal with their mental position too.

* S.M.A.R.T. Goals

S.M.A.R.T. stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Defining these parameters as they pertain to your goal helps ensure that your objectives are attainable within a certain time frame.


If you need any help with any of these resources please contact me.


     

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If you have done work with me, please submit a review, it would help me greatly.


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Knowing how to deal with failure, in a healthy way, will take some of the fear out of it. That knowledge will help reduce the pain and help you bounce back better than before. It is important to acknowledge that everybody fails. That doesn't make us failures; it just means we are human. Everything will not work out the way we want it to every time. Feeling hurt and sad when we fail to achieve something, regardless of how big or small it may be, is only natural. But dwelling on past failures is painful and keeps us from moving forward. We now have tips to accept when we fail, get up, and try again.

 

If you have questions or need any assistance, email us.  You can also call us @ 904-830-0737. You can also set up a free consultation. (Please toggle "Business Consultation")


“Don't use your success as the only measure of who you are. You should also measure yourself by the times you failed, got back up, and kept going.”

- Dr. Pamela Russell

 

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explain the importance of coping with failure, and explore ways to handle these experiences at work.

 

What are failures at work?

Failures at work refer to events or experiences related to under performance or unsuccessful projects. Usually, these occurrences can take various forms and may have varying effects on your overall work experience. For instance, these are some things you may consider failures. You:

·  Did not meet an important deadline.

·  Lost an important client.

·  Did not get promoted.

·  Had an unsuccessful interview.

·  Lost an account.

·  Did not meet your set goals and objectives.

Although you typically try to avoid these scenarios, they can provide learning opportunities to help you grow.

 

Importance of handling failure

It's essential to handle negative scenarios appropriately. If you don't, you will then have to deal with anxiety, embarrassment, and anger. Managing these emotions helps ensure that your decision-making and workplace relationships remain functional. You want to use the situation to plan toward other professional and personal development goals. Handling failure helps you:

·  Assess the situation from a different perspective.

·  Prepare to prevent it from happening in the future.

·  Realize that although they're unwanted.

   > They don't define you.

   > You can overcome them and continue pursuing your goals.

 

How to handle failures at work

Here are some steps you can use to handle failure in the workplace:

1. Acknowledge your feelings

Usually, the initial response to a negative scenario may be to ignore it, even when it hurts. Instead, it may be helpful to allow yourself to acknowledge your emotions. Try to identify the origin of the emotions and what they mean. This can help you understand its nature and begin managing it.

 

2. Acknowledge any irrational belief

If you fail once, it's natural to feel like other endeavors may also fail. You can overcome this feeling by reminding yourself of your previous successes. Consider outlining your successes no matter how little and review them when you doubt yourself or want to start new tasks.


3. Avoid seeking others' approval

Sometimes, the need for approval may make a minor setback seem much larger than it is. You will disappoint someone in your life. Sometimes you will know about it and sometimes you won't. You can  overcome the need to be validated and approved by reminding yourself that your goals are just that…yours. You set yourself up for another failure when you spend your energy trying to meet someone else's expectations, no matter who they are. Use that time to identify the positives in your overall experience that can help you achieve other personal and professional goals.

 

4. Accept responsibility

Failures may result from useless/misleading information, a mistake, or a miscalculation. It's essential for you to acknowledge the effects of your actions and avoid repeating them. In addition, it may be helpful to remind yourself that mistakes are normal. Pointing fingers won't help you the next time.

 

5. Avoid defining yourself by your mistakes

Experiencing a professional or personal failure is a setback. However, it's important to remind yourself that these setbacks don't define you or your abilities. It may be beneficial to take a step back to separate yourself from what happened. Seeing it from a different perspective can help ensure you don't use them to define or characterize who you are.

 

6. Channel negative emotions productively

Failures typically come with negative feelings, such as self-pity. When you experience these emotions, it may be easy to wallow in them; don't. Take that time to find better solutions. Control these emotions and channel them into more productive activities. As you find other solutions, create action plans for them.

 

7. Adopt coping skills

There are things you can do to cope with failure.

·  Deep breathing exercises

·  Talking with friends

·  Spending time with your family members

·  Playing with your pet

This is a small list. There are other things you can do to help you reduce anxiety and stress. Redirecting your attention helps you find space to assess the situation and find the lessons in the experience. Also, surrounding yourself with a support system can help you change your outlook and motivate you to try again.

 

8. Fortify your self-esteem

Failures may affect your self-esteem and make you doubt your value or ability. Reduce the impact of these experiences on your self-esteem by focusing on the things you do well. You are still the person you were before this incident happened. Occupy yourself with your hobby or tasks that don't follow the rules of risk and reward. They remind you that your self-esteem doesn't depend on a single task, but it's a culmination of various experiences.

 

9. Rely on your support system

If you don't have one, create one. There are people in your life who will be empathetic and listen to your experiences (i.e., a colleague, friend, or family member). There is someone willing to validate your feelings or share their experience that may help you feel better about your situation. These people may also offer helpful tips to overcome your challenges, hear your thoughts, and share new perspectives on your issues.

 

10. Identify the lessons

Learning from negative experiences:

·  Helps you avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

·  Shows you that failures can be teachable moments.

·  Reveals areas you can improve.

·  Exposes feeling that you have been repressing.

·  Helps you evaluate your strategies.

It's important to identify these lessons and use them to inform your future decisions. You can speak to others, either friends or professionals, to help you identify these lessons if you can't identify them alone.

 

11. Get inspiration from these experiences

You will experience multiple setbacks as your career advances. Failures happen regardless of your efforts. See these setbacks as a part of your career journey and allow them to motivate you to strive for your goals. When you encounter a challenge or failure, approach it as an opportunity to gain a new perspective. Practicing self-care can help you create a new vision for the future. Then use the inspiration to adopt better strategies and action plans for future opportunities.

 

12. Adapt to changing circumstances

Failure can happen when you use standard routines without considering if they are suitable. You can assess your approach to the situation, your response to certain scenarios, and what you may have missed. Failing can help you become observant and adapt to new circumstances rather than miss growth opportunities.

 

13. Create better experiences

Creating new action plans involves leaving your comfort zone and trying new ideas. Keep your strategies flexible, remaining open to changes, and use your failures to create better experiences. Outline the obstacles you may experience within your new action plans, using this failure as a guide. Also, identify ways you can overcome them which will help ensure you remain focused on your end objectives.

 

14. Move on

It's important to move past your failures. Take what you can from the negative experience and move on to the next goal. Despite the circumstances, you can assess your current situation, goals, and how you intend to achieve them. When attempting to move on, consider starting slowly. Test your new strategies on smaller tasks before moving on to using larger resources.


Links to support resources can be found in the  Freebie Section. 

 

If you have questions or need any assistance, please email us.  You can also call us @ 904-830-0737 and/or  set up a free consultation. (Please toggle "Business Consultation")


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I will handle failure in ministry using sin and transgressions.

 

1.  Definitions

a.  SIN

Sin is an action. We miss the mark by doing:

·  Something against God or against a person (Exodus 10:16)

·  The opposite of what is right (Galatians 5:17)

·  Something that will have negative results (Proverbs 24:33–34)

·  The wrong thing when you know what is right (James 4:17).

 

b.  Iniquitiy

Iniquity happens when we do what we think is the right thing. Our actions are based on our own  interpretation or our mindset. The problem is, it is wrong whether we think it is, want it to be, etc.

·  Matthew 23:28 Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

·  Matthew 7:23 Then I will tell them, "I never knew you. Depart from me, you who work iniquity."

 

2.  Approach

·  In order to deal with the failure of sin vs transgression, let's look at it from a criminal perspective. In most crimes, there is an actus reus, the physical act, and a mens rea, or state of mind. These must occur at the same time for a crime to occur. They both must occur at the same time in order for you to sin.

 

·  A transgression lacks "mens rea". It is a point when a person does something not knowing it is wrong. Quite the opposite, he or she thinks it is OK. Therefore, you can only commit this transgression once. The first time it is a transgression, the second time it is sin.

 

·  There will come a time when you will have the knowledge of the law of Christ. If you continue to do what you have always done, it is sin.

 

 3.  Steps to Move Forward

Because we hold Christians at a higher standard, handling failure can be difficult. The path is simple:

·  Be honest about your need to repent. Be humble before God.

·  Ask God for forgiveness.

·  Commit to God that you won't make the same mistake again.

 Psalm 51:17 (AMPC)

17 My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

 

The term you want to understand is Godly sorrow, not personal shame. Godly sorrow describes a type of sorrow that leads to repentance and salvation. It is not being ashamed that you got caught. Godly sorrow happens when the Holy Spirit places a sadness upon your heart and spirit and tells you that something is not right.

John 16:8 (AMPC)

8 And when He comes, He will convict and convince the world and bring demonstration to it about sin and about righteousness (uprightness of heart and right standing with God) and about judgment:


When we have done something wrong, we need to repent and return to the Father. Godly sorrow inspires change and hope because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Worldly sorrow pulls us down, extinguishes hope, and persuades us to give in to further temptation. Godly sorrow leads to conversion and a change of heart. It causes us to hate sin and love God more. It encourages us to stand up and walk in the light of Christ's love.

 

a.  After a transgression

The path forward after a transgression can seem to be easier than the path after sinning because you did not realize your actions were wrong. We should take these steps:

·  Recognize that God's thoughts are higher and better than ours.

·  Acknowledge our personal sin.

·  Turn from our sinful thoughts and ways.

·  Seek to live by every word of God.

·  Feel Godly Sorrow.

·  Confess to God.

·  Ask for forgiveness.

·  Make restitution when and if God leads us to do so. Make sure you are not trying to make things right "for you to feel better".

·  Forsake Sin.

·  Receive Forgiveness.

 

b.  After a Sin

The path forward after a sin can seem to be harder because you committed the act "knowing" it was wrong. When you are coming to terms with your sin, there are some questions that you should ask yourself.


(1)  What is the impact of my offense?

The impact can be more widespread depending on your role in the ministry. Avoid making quick decisions if possible. Don't tell yourself, "It isn't that bad". Take the time to understand the entire situation. When analyzing the situation, don't do it alone. Get the advice of trusted counselors within the church and outside the church.

 

(2)  Am I denying the sin? 

Is the sin something that was alleged about me or is this something that I did?

·  If alleged.

Take the time to understand why the allegation was made. Then go to God and follow the scripture:

Matthew 18:15-16 (AMPC)

15 If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother.16 But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two others, so that every word may be confirmed and upheld by the testimony of two or three witnesses.

 

Matthew 5:23-24 (AMPC)

23 So if when you are offering your gift at the altar you there remember that your brother has any [grievance] against you, 24 Leave your gift at the altar and go. First make peace with your brother, and then come back and present your gift.

 

If you are unable to meet alone, don't find it wise, are refused, etc., go to the next option. When you have followed the scripture, you have done what  God requires. Again, you cannot make someone change their mind. Your moving forward is not dependent upon if they do or not. It depends only upon your relationship with the Lord and His guidance and direction. 

 

·  No allegations.

If there are no allegations, then you are fighting with the Lord Almighty. The Holy Spirit, as your guide, came to convict you. You can't win that fight.

Hebrews 4:12 (AMPC)

12 For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the [a]breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart.

 

Jeremiah 17:9-10 (AMPC)

Amplified Bible, Classic Edition

9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse and corrupt and severely, mortally sick! Who can know it [perceive, understand, be acquainted with his own heart and mind]? 10 I the Lord search the mind, I try the heart, even to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

Which leads us to the next topic.

 

(3)  What is the level of remorse?

Are you willing to admit and own your wrong, (Does Godly sorrow come back to mind?) We you are ready to repent, God's grace is available. If you are not willing to admit, prepare for the chastisement of the Lord.

Hebrews 12:6-8 (AMPC)

6 For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes. 7 You must submit to and endure [correction] for discipline; God is dealing with you as with sons. For what son is there whom his father does not [thus] train and correct and discipline? 8 Now if you are exempt from correction and left without discipline in which all [of God's children] share, then you are illegitimate offspring and not true sons [at all].

 

(4)  What are the ministry's policies and/or covenant?

Many ministries/churches have clear guidelines that address how to work through sin. Some even have a  covenant for pastors and staff, which also helps provide biblical support for the process of discipline or reconciliation. Before you move forward with a plan, make sure you understand the guidelines and any covenantal requirements if you are a pastor or staff member.

 

4.  Healing

When we sin, it does not just affect us; it affects all those who are around us. Everyone has to heal.

a.  Tell the truth. Get rid of the parts and pieces and attempts to diminish the level of impact. It is impossible to heal unless you provide the truth. There is no need to share all the details, or even the other parties involved, with everyone. For some, just an understanding of the big picture of what happened is enough. Be led by the Lord.


b.  If you are the lead pastor, you must teach about healing. Put the current sermon series on hold and focus on teaching your church about healing.


c.  Spend time with people, especially those most affected by the sin. Put other things on hold for a while. It is an honor to the Lord to take time to allow Him to heal you from sin and all the damage done.


d.  The hurt may last for a while, and the pain may feel intolerable. You may want to try to escape the situation. Move to another church, get a divorce, change ministries, etc. Enduring the pain of healing is paramount.


e.  Our failure isn't God's failure. What looks like failure, because we sinned, to us may very well be failure on our end. However, it could be something else in God's plan. Everything that happens in our lives in filtered through God's hands. He has a plan, and it is a good one. God is sovereign in our failures, weaving all things together according to his plan. What gets shut down by our mistakes, our boss, or by the limitations of capacity and time, God can work out for some greater success.


f.  There is grace when we sin/fail if we respond with humility. Only then will we find what we need to keep going.


g.  We can find hope when we sin and when we fail because God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. Often, our pride causes us to fail. When we are proud, we find our identity in what we do, what we've achieved, what we've become. Our pride is why we can't handle falling short, and our pride is why we give up God's grace when we do.


h.  We are human beings, not human doings. We are defined by whose we are. Even when we fail/when we sin, in Christ, we are not failures. God's mercy and grace are there when we sin, just as it is when we don't.

 

Links to support resources can be found in the Freebie Section. 

 

 

If you have questions or need any assistance, please email us.  You can also call us @ 904-830-0737 and/or  set up a free consultation. (Please toggle "Business Consultation")


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occurs.

 

1.  Why is it important to deal with failure?

Not dealing with failure can cause negative emotions, such as anger, embarrassment, or anxiety. These emotions can have a lasting effect and  negatively impact relationships and decisions. They can even make it difficult to overcome the failure and progress. When experiencing a failure, try to view it from a different perspective. Changing your perspective will help you understand mistakes happen. However, they don't define you. Acknowledge and accept failure, along with the varied emotions that may come with it. You will better process your feelings and overcome them.


2.  How to deal with failure

Follow these nine steps to acknowledge, accept, and deal with failure:


a.  Acknowledge your feelings

It's common to avoid the feelings associated with failure, since they can cause discomfort. However, it's important to learn how to acknowledge them instead. Allow yourself to recognize your feelings and name them. (Check the Freebie section for a link to feeling words) Whatever you feel, try to understand where the feeling stems from and what you can learn from it.

Example: Cindy didn't get the promotion she had hoped for and she feels let down by her inability to stand out. Cindy analyzes her feelings and learns that her disappointment isn't in herself, but in her expectation of getting the job. She sets goals to improve her productivity to stand apart from her colleagues, rather than assuming she already did.


2. Recognize irrational beliefs

After experiencing a failure, you may have more negative thoughts. However, it's important to note that these feelings and beliefs may not be rational. One way to combat these thoughts is to reflect on your successes. Compile a list of successes, no matter how small, and consult it before the next task or when you feel fear taking over. (See the list of irrational thoughts in Freebie section)

 Example: Here's a list of accomplishments an individual may write to remind themselves of their successes:

Event

Irrational Thought

Rational Success Based Thought

My team failed

I should never coach again

I coached last year's little league to championship

I made a mistake during my presentation

People probably think I am incompetent, and I'll never be asked to present again.

I have made mistakes before, and they asked me to speak here. The mistake did not take away from the overall message.

I did not get the raise.

I don't ever do anything good enough to be noticed. I'll never get promoted.

I Implemented the office's current filing system.

My child's toy broke

I should never try to put things together. Now my child thinks I am not a great dad.

Installed a ceiling fan. My child helped me.

3. Release the need for approval

Often, our need to gain the approval of others can make a small failure seem so much larger. Even if you feel you haven't met expectations, it's important to remind yourself that your goals are yours alone. Focus your energy on your personal goals for the future rather than meeting someone else's expectations. There is a saying I heard a long time ago, and it is still true. "Don't worship at the altar of someone else's opinion." We all care, to some degree, about what other people think. But we can not afford to make anyone's opinion our god.

 Example: Sarah did not get her article written without the need for editing. Now Sarah won't write anything without going to several colleagues asking them if they think it is good. Pointing out how she grammar checked and waiting for a thumbs up, head nod, handshake, etc. She sends each paragraph to the editor instead of the entire article.


4. Accept responsibility

There are many ways to fail and reasons for failure. Acknowledge your role and take action to prevent further mistakes. Taking responsibility for your mistakes means accepting them and working to improve your skills and processes. It also means not explaining why. Any statement of acknowledgment that has "but" at the end is negated by the next thing you say. Take the time to reflect on failures and make changes to prevent future ones. This shows your accountability and willingness to grow from mistakes.

Example: Luis received a letter and a confirmation email stating the time and date of his licensing exam. Luis didn't enter the appointment in his phone nor on his wall calendar. As a result, Luis missed the appointment by 30 minutes and has to wait six months to test again. Luis acknowledged the mistake and started recording his appointments afterward.

 

5. Don't take it personally

Don't you just cringe when someone says, "Don't take it so personally"? It is personal. A business, career, or personal failure is a setback. However, it isn't a definition of who you are. It's easy to associate a single failure as a personal statement about you, which is why it's imperative to separate the two. Remind yourself that failure doesn't represent you as a person. You have other qualities, traits, and successes that extend beyond the mistakes you may have made. It may help to make a list of your core values and what your goals mean to you so you can motivate yourself to try again.

Example: Ben's boss took the time to explain what was wrong with his presentation. Ben walked around the rest of the day without speaking to anyone.


6. Channel negative emotion productively

Try to direct negative emotions toward becoming the motivation required to find a solution. Ask yourself what you could've done differently and then form an action plan to do it differently. While it's important to acknowledge how you feel after a failure, also reflect on how you can use those feelings to re-engage with your goals.

Example: Beth structured a plan for reviewing her habits and processes so she could identify the source of her mistake. After identifying the cause, she brainstorms solutions to prevent future mistakes.

 

7. Adopt stress management skills

Practice coping skills such as deep breathing, going for a long walk, calling a friend or spending time with your pet to help reduce stress and anxiety. When you take time to care for yourself and reduce your stress levels, it can bring clarity and perspective. Make a habit of assessing your stress levels throughout the day. If you find yourself overwhelmed, use your stress management skills to take a break.

Example: Cynthia took her lunchtime to walk and clear her head. She was calmer when she returned and could focus on her work.

8. Boost self-esteem

Failure can affect self-esteem and might elicit doubts about your ability or value. Reduce the negative impact on self-esteem by remembering that you're likely to have other opportunities in the future. Shift your attention to a hobby or low-stakes activity that you enjoy.

Example: Anthony took an emotional time out and worked on his model car collection. He remembered how much time he spent putting the cars together, all the compliments he had received,  and felt so much better about himself.  


9. Seek support

External support can help you process and overcome failures. A friend or colleague may validate your feelings or share a story of failure that lessens the impact of yours. Family and friends may offer advice or simply provide a space to hear your thoughts aloud.

Example: Cynthia went to a support group to talk about her experiences and feelings. She got the support she needed to understanding her feelings and ease their effect on her.

 

10. Reflect on learning opportunities

Learning from failures not only helps us avoid making the same mistakes, it's how we discover how useful failure can be. Failures can help you understand your opportunities for improvement, which allows you to find new ways to grow.

Example: Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before he created the first light bulb.

11. Find inspiration in your mistakes

Mistakes can be sources of inspiration that help you make other improvements in your life. For example, if you made a mistake, you may use the opportunity to develop a new method of performing the task or working toward the initial goal. Using your mistake as an opportunity to innovate and problem-solve can be a valuable experience.

Example: A scientist named Dr. Spencer Silver was working to develop an incredibly strong adhesive in 1968. By accident, he created the exact opposite — an incredibly weak adhesive. Silver relentlessly shared his invention with colleagues, but he couldn't get traction to make it into a product. One of his colleagues, Arthur Fry, came up with the idea of using the adhesive on bookmarks. Fed up with little papers falling out of his hymnal at church, he determined that Silver's invention was the solution. The post-it was born.

Even as you read through the suggestions and the example. One last thing is important. Reflecting on failures can help you know when it's time to stop dwelling on it and move forward. It is more than an idea it has to be a goal. Write your goal(s) to overcome obstacles and set your focus on the next achievement. When setting goals, try using the S.M.A.R.T. method.(A link to a form to create S.M.A.R.T. goals are in the Freebie Section) S.M.A.R.T. goals are:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Achievable
  • Relevant
  • Time-bound

Using this method of goal-setting can help you create a structure around what you want to accomplish. Based on your goals, you can develop effective plans that help you take action and work toward achieving your objectives. If you don’t plan to succeed, by default, you plan to fail.


Links to support resources can be found in the Freebie Section. 


If you have questions or need any assistance, please email us.  You can also call us @ 904-830-0737 and/or  set up a free consultation. (Please toggle "Business Consultation")


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