| | | | Information and Resources for Your Business and Life | | | | Inspiration, Tools & Tips! July 2022 | | | | Become a Better ListenerIt Will Benefit You
We tend to think of communication as just being about expressing ourselves, but that’s really only half of it. It’s also just as important to know how to listen. If a person, speaking to you, is using a language you understand, and nothing prevents you from hearing them; you are listening. What you really want to know is, are you listening effectively?
Being able to listen to your boss, co-worker, children, parents, spouse, etc. effectively, means you’re able to better understand their perspective. It means you’re more likely to have constructive conversations where you feel your point of view is being considered. So many misunderstandings in relationships are caused by one or both parties feeling like they’re not being heard. This month we will look at why we should work on becoming better listeners. | | | | | |
Online Bible Study Dr. Pam will be one of the facilitators at the women's retreat "Women Expanding in Dominion" presented by Pastor Michele Godfrey-Watson of Refresh Ministries.
For more information about this event and how to register email: refreshmin1@yahoo.com. You can also click on this link.
| | | | | | | | | | 
August
| | | | | | | | | | Welcome back, I pray you were blessed, encouraged, and motivated by the transition God was making in my life. If you are like me, I hope you were able to make sure your plan for your life, business, ministry etc. is flexible enough for change that won’t derail you. This month we will talk about how learning how to be an active listener can improve our relationships. | | | | Also, as I do every month, thanks to everyone who reached out. I get more and more excited as I see what God is doing with and in my life. It is an honor and a pleasure to give you tips and help you learn from my successes and failures. Please stay subscribed to receive more information, success stories, tips, freebies and much more.
| | | | | | | |
It is important to be an active listener. Your ability to communicate depends upon it. Research has found there is much to gain from making sure that we are not only hearing when a person speaks, we are also actively and effectively listening to what they’re saying. In the articles today, you will see two specific terms “active listening” and “selective listening”. I want to make sure you understand the definition of both. Active listening is the practice of engaging closely with what a speaker is saying in order to gain and show understanding. Someone who is poised to hear only what (s)he wants to hear listens selectively.
Here are some benefits of being a active listener, we: 1. Communicate Better Effective communication makes effective leaders. No matter what you do in life, you are a leader because someone is always watching you. Communication is significant to build resilience, and it also maintains balance in different aspects of our lives. In order for someone to understand you, it is very important to be a confident and efficient communicator. There will be fewer chances of misunderstanding if there is clear communication. However, in order to become effective communicators, we need to be active listeners. More than half of the conversation or communication is paying attention to and understanding the other side.
2. Have Clearer Understanding Not listening effectively means you won’t be able to understand the other person(s) point of view. Though we love the sound of our own voices, there are very few situations when we can understand, and be understood, while we do ALL the talking; there must be effective listening.
3. Have Better Relationships Communication is the basis of any relationship. Active and effective listening helps with communicating and, as a result, leads to better relationships and friendships.
4. Show Maturity and Respect It shows maturity and respect to the speaker, or the other parties involved in the conversation when you listen. Constantly interrupting without listening never leads to a meaningful and enlightening conversation, and it sends the message that what the speaker wants to say is not important.
5. Develop as People When you stop talking and listen, you can learn from the speaker. The things you learn will help you in that moment and also in your day-to-day life. An active listener always comes across as a wise person who can understand and empathize with others. Good listening skills lead to more meaningful interactions and less frustrating situations in our daily life.
6. Resolve Issues We can resolve conflict and solve a great deal of our problems by understanding the viewpoints of everybody involved.
7. Enhance Our Careers Being an active listener in the workplace is very important. It helps establish positive working relationships with bosses, clients, as well as colleagues at work. Good listening can help us establish a good image and help separate us from average contributors.
When we listen effectively, we get more information from the people we are interacting with, increase others’ ability to trust us, reduce conflict, better understand others, and so much more. We really need to understand the importance of listening at a broader level. Believe it or not, most people don’t realize listening is a skill. It is. Communication is not effective without being able to speak and be understood. However, you must also be an active listener.
Check out the freebies this month. Use them to help you become a better listener. | | | | Business, Ministry, & Personal Application
| | 
Business Application
It is important to listen effectively or do what is called “active listening.” Why? Because it’s a great way to show your coworkers that you value what they have to say. During meetings or brainstorming sessions, active listening can help you fully absorb what others are sharing and think of meaningful ways to add to the
READ MORE ...
| | Ministry Application
Listening is one of the easiest things we’ll ever do, and one of the hardest. As the pastor/ministry leader, there is the call to listen to you. However, your organization is made of up people who are also called to listen to God. How do you help them navigate both? Because of the uniqueness of your situation, there is a fight
READ MORE ...
| | Personal Application
How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn’t really listening? Unfortunately, that is the case for many people. Most individuals are not active listeners. They are good pretenders. The thing is, true listening requires work—more work than many people will invest.
READ MORE ...
| | | | | | | |
The Name and the Logo has changed, but the ministry and vision is still the same. Name: Early Morning Prayer Line Number: 951-981-7721, no passcode is needed. Time: 5:30- 6:00 a.m. EST, but you can log on earlier. Days: Sun-Sat, including holidays
If you want to be a part of prayer, but its a bit too early for you. Keep checking back as we are preparing to meet at 4:00 p.m. as well. You are also welcome to contact us for a copy of a recoding. Just give us the day you are interested in. Please listen and be blessed.
Additional Information: Online information about the prayer line Prayer Requests: Submit them here. ------------- The Current Devotional we are using is My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. You have access to the entire year. We are using the update version, not the classic.
Please come and share with us.
We have put together a wonderful project to bring healing. 
You can listen to it here or download it from You Tube.
| | | | 
FREEBIES
Here are this month’s free business, ministry and personal tools:
* Active Listening for Personal Conversations Tools you can use when you are communicating with one person.
Tools you can use to build your communication skills no matter the type of conversation.
How good are your active listening skills? Use this assessment to find out.
Pod Casts You Might Find Helpful If you need any help with any of these resources please contact me.
| | | | FEATURED COMPANY/CLIENT REVIEW | | You can be featured whether you have been my client or not. If I understand your business and I believe you can help my readers, please reach out to me using my contact information at the bottom of this page. I would love to promote your services.
| | | | | | If you have done work with me, please submit a review, it would help me greatly.
Please click here. You will find a list of business review sites. Click the name of the site where you want to leave a review. You can place your review on one or as many as you like. Each review will help me so much, so I am thanking you in advance. If you want to leave a review for a site that is not listed, please contact me and let me know which site. | | | | If you are not concerned about how effectively you, your team or your organization listens, you should be! The price you will pay for ineffective listening is a huge and may be one of the highest sources of risk you have. Communication is the base of almost everything in life, i.e. sales in your company, serving those assigned to you in your church/ministry, and/or your promotion. In order to be understood, you must take the time to understand others. The understanding you need comes from active listening. If you have questions or need any assistance, email us. You can also call us @ 904-830-0737. You can also set up a free consultation. | | | | | | “We all have ears. It takes a heart to listen to another person. It does not matter who they are nor what your relationship to them is. When you decide to listen, even if your feelings are hurt; you move out of your comfort zone, take up time you would rather be spending doing something else, and listen to make someone else's life better.” - Dr. Pamela Russell | | | | MORE From Business Development
conversation. When you show others you are listening to them, they feel you respect them. This is an important part of establishing open communication and camaraderie in the workplace. Here are some tips to listen actively at work: 1. Limit distractions While having a conversation, limit your distractions as much as possible. This means putting your computer to sleep, turning your phone on silent and closing the door to your office. If you are planning a meeting, try to reserve a closed conference room. By limiting excessive noise or interruptions, you can keep your focus directed to the speaker.
2. Use the right body language While someone is talking to you, your body language shows them you’re listening. • A slight head nod when they say something that you understand and/or agree with. • Sitting upright with good posture and not slouching shows you are interested. • Smiling and eye contact are all great ways to show you’re engaged in a conversation. • Along with these nonverbal cues, you can also use verbal affirmations like “okay” and “hmm” to show you’re listening. These actions can make the speaker feel more comfortable and inclined to continue to share their thoughts and opinions. 3. Focus on the present Instead of thinking of a response, truly listen to what the speaker is saying. Try to quiet your thoughts and live in the present moment. When they finish with their thoughts, you can add something if you actually have something to add. Don’t try to think of what to say. If you were listening, it will come naturally. During a meeting, you could bring along a notebook to jot down questions you may have so you can focus on the meeting and remember what to ask later. You may find that as the person continues speaking, they answer your initial questions. 4. Look for meaning later Try to first understand what someone is saying before searching for a deeper meaning. Once you absorb what they said, take time to think about it later. If you feel they were conveying any underlying message(s), ask them. By taking what someone says at face value, you can remember what they said better. As you reflect on the conversation, think about their tone, demeanor, and body language. 5. Summarize what the speaker said One way to show you understand what someone just told you is to give a brief summary of what they said. While paraphrasing, you could start the sentence with, “From my understanding, you’re saying...” This is helpful, especially if you misinterpret what they said. It gives the speaker a chance to clarify any points they made. 6. Ask follow-up questions Asking thoughtful questions is another way to show you’re invested in a conversation. Again, don’t make up something to ask. Reflect on what the speaker just said. You only want to seek new information. If you are unsure about something, ask clarifying questions that will help them elaborate on what they just shared. Both specific and open-ended questions are helpful ways to get more information from the speaker. They may appreciate your questions if they forgot to mention a specific point. 7. Allow moments of silence. Do this in a one-on-one conversation. A pause gives time for you and the speaker to think. Instead of filling the gap with your own thoughts, this gives you both the opportunity to think through what they said. Maybe he/she has more to say or now it is time for you to rephrase what was said, to make sure you understood. By allowing a moment of silence, you give them the opportunity for thought and to continue the conversation with clarity on both sides. 8. Show empathy. When someone is sharing something personal or emotional, your response and body language can show your empathy. If someone is sharing a problem with you, sharing your own experiences can be helpful in small doses. Make sure to still focus on them, but to use your own experiences to help them feel your empathy. Do not take over the conversation with your experience. 9. Try to learn. When going into a meeting or training session, expect to learn something. This attitude can help you make more of an effort to process what the speaker is saying. 10. Recharge your body and mind. When you know you’re going to have a long meeting, move around a little bit before it. Light exercise like walking or stretching can get your blood flowing and make you feel more awake. Likewise, getting some fresh air can boost your energy level and help you stay focused. 11. Be honest. If a coworker wants to chat while you’re busy or feeling stressed, be honest and let them know now isn’t the best time to speak. Plan a time to talk to them later when you can keep your focus on them and not on a pressing deadline. During a meeting or lengthy conversation, it’s important that you find ways to direct your attention to who is speaking. By showing that you understand what the speaker is saying, you’re communicating that you value and respect their ideas and insights. This is a central part of facilitating effective teamwork and open communication.
| | | | MORE From Ministry Development
against listening in both aspects. We’d rather trust in ourselves, amass our own understanding and speak our thoughts rather than listen to someone else. Here is a point you can share: “True, sustained, active listening is a significant act of faith, and a great means of grace, both for ourselves and for others in the fellowship.” The charter text for Christian listening might be James 1:19-20 (AMP): Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; 20 for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us]. It’s simple enough in principle, and nearly impossible to live. Too often we are slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to anger. Active listening is a skill and you must practice to get better. Unless the supernatural power of God is at work; unfortunately, you can’t just pray for it and overnight, it happens. Another point to stress is saying you want to be better, won’t make it happen either. You must do the work. The information in this section is gleaned from the Bible, “the ministry of listening” in Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together, as well as Janet Dunn’s classic Discipleship Journal article, “How to Become a Active listener .” 1. Active listening requires patience. Avoid listening with half an ear that presumes we already know what the other person has to say. This is called impatient, inattentive listening. In this scenario, we are only waiting for a chance to speak. We might think you know what the speaker’s point is and where the speaker is going. If so, we are already formulating our response. Here are some other things that make us impatient listeners. • We were busy when the conversation started. • We have another commitment approaching. • We are not really interested. • We are distracted by our external surroundings or our internal battle to keep quiet. • We are too preoccupied with ourselves. We are busy either deciding what to say in response or mentally rejecting the other person’s point of view. 2. Active listening empowers the speaker Selective listening diminishes another person, while active listening invites them to exist and matter. Active listening requires concentration and means we’re in with both ears, and that we hear the other person out till they’re done speaking. Rarely will the speaker begin with what’s most important and deepest. We need to hear everything being said before we speak. Turn off the phone and don’t interrupt. Be attentive, externally relaxed, and internally active. It takes energy to block out the distractions that keep bombarding us, and the peripheral things that keep streaming into our consciousness, and the many good possibilities we can spin out for interrupting. When we are people quick to speak, it takes Spirit-powered patience to not only be quick to hear, but to keep on hearing. 3. Active listening is an act of love. Half-eared listening gets rid of the other person and rejects; Active listening embraces. Poor listening diminishes the other person, while Active listening invites them to exist, and to matter. Just as love for God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for others is learning to listen to them. 4. Active listening asks perceptive questions. It is the fool who “takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (Proverbs 18:2), and thus “gives an answer before he hears” (Proverbs 18:13). Active listening asks perceptive, open-ended questions that don’t tee up yes-no answers, but gently peel the onion and probe beneath the surface. It watches carefully for nonverbal communication, but doesn’t interrogate and pry into details the speaker doesn’t want to share, but meekly draws them out and helps point the speaker to fresh perspectives through careful, but genuine, questions. 5. Active listening is ministry. There are many times when listening can be a greater service than speaking. God wants more of the Christian than just our Active listening , but not less. There will be days when the most important ministry we do is square our shoulders to some hurting person, uncross our arms, lean forward, make eye contact, and hear their pain until they are done. Active listening often defuses the emotions that are a part of the problem being discussed. Sometimes releasing these emotions is all that is needed to solve the problem. The speaker may neither want nor expect us to say anything in response. 6. Active listening reflects our relationship with God. Our inability to listen well to others may be symptomatic of a chatty spirit that is droning out the voice of God. If you cannot listen to someone else speak, you are probably treating God the same way. You will also do all the talking in your time with God and not listen to hear what He has to say. This behavior will chip away at your spiritual life until there is none. Anyone who thinks that his/her time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for others or God. She/he will only have time for him/herself. Active listening is the way to show that you have received the grace and mercy of God. It is a channel through which God continues to pour His grace into our lives, while using us as His means of grace in the lives of others. It may be one of the hardest things we learn to do, but we will find it worth every ounce of effort. | | | | MORE From Personal Development
Quality conversation is about “give and take.” Many people, however, want to just give their words and not take the words of others. Being on the receiving end as the listener may seem boring, but it’s essential. When you are attending to someone and paying attention to what they’re saying, it’s a sign of caring and respect. The problem for many is that attending requires an act of will, which often goes against what our minds naturally do. We are constantly thinking. Our minds roam around aimlessly, think about any number of things instead of listening.
What Makes People Selective Listeners? 1. You Want to Talk Yourself You are looking at someone, pretending to be listening. However, you’re mentally planning all the amazing things you are going to say. It is a disservice to the speaker. Yes, maybe what the other person is saying is not the most exciting thing in the world. Still, they deserve to be heard. Also, don’t steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go by asking personally motivated questions. It’s okay to want to talk. It’s normal, even. Keep in mind, however, that when your turn does come around, you’ll want someone to listen to you. 2. You Disagree With What Is Being Said This is another thing that makes you a selective/inadequate listener. When you hear something, you disagree with, you immediately tune out. Then, you lie in wait so you can tell the speaker how wrong they are. You’re eager to make your point and prove the speaker wrong. You think that once you speak your “truth,” the speaker (or everyone, if it is not a private conversation) will: • Know how mistaken the speaker is. • Thank you for setting them straight. • Encourage you to elaborate on what you have to say. I don’t think that will happen. Actually, quite the opposite. Disagreeing with the speaker, however frustrating that might be, is no reason to tune them out and ready yourself to spew your staggering rebuttal. By listening, you might actually glean an interesting nugget of information that you were previously unaware of. 3. You Are Doing Five Other Things While You’re “Listening” It is impossible to listen to someone while you’re texting, reading, playing Sudoku, etc. But people do it all the time. Becoming an active listener takes a great deal of concentration, but it’s certainly worth it. If you’re truly going to listen, then you must: listen! M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book The Road Less Travel, says, “you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” If you are too busy to listen, actively, let the speaker know, and arrange for another time to talk. It’s simple as that! 4. You Appoint Yourself as Judge While you’re “listening,” you decide the speaker doesn’t know what they’re talking about. As the “expert,” you know more. So, what’s the point of even listening? To you, the only sound you hear once you decide they’re wrong is, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” But before you bang that gavel, just know you may not have all the necessary information. To get it, you’d have to listen. Also, make sure you don’t judge someone by their accent, the way they sound, or the structure of their sentences. Keep this in mind when listening to a foreigner, or someone who perhaps has a difficult time putting their thoughts into words. Now you know some of the things that make for an inferior listener. If none of the items above resonate with you, great! You’re a better listener than most. If you find yourself is some or all of them, I provide specifics on active listening in the business article and the ministry article. Please read them if you have not already. Just in case, here is a brief overview of some changes you need to make if you are going to listen actively.
1. Pay Attention An active listener is attentive. They’re not looking at their watch, phone, or thinking about their dinner plans. They’re focused on what the other person is saying. 2. Use Positive Body Language You can infer a lot from a person’s body language. Are they interested, bored, or anxious? An active listener’s body language is open. 3. Avoid Interrupting the Speaker It’s rude and causes anxiety. Interrupting is a sign of disrespect. It is essentially saying, “what I have to say is much more important than what you’re saying.” 4. Ask Questions Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you’re interested. 5. Just Listen This may seem counterintuitive. When you’re conversing with someone, it’s usually back and forth. Occasionally, all that is required of you is to listen, smile, or nod your head, and your speaker will feel like they’re really being heard and understood. 6. Remember and Follow Up Part of being an active listener is remembering what the speaker has said to you, then following up with them. 7. Keep Confidential Information Confidential If you really want to be a better listener, listen with care. If what you’re hearing is confidential, keep it that way, no matter how tempting it might be to tell someone else, especially if you have friends in common. Being an active listener means being trustworthy and sensitive with shared information. 8. Do not judge 9. Maintain Eye Contact Eye contact is powerful. It can relay many things without anything being said. Currently, it’s more important than ever with the Covid-19 Pandemic. People can’t see your entire face, but they can definitely read your eyes. Listening actively will add to your connection with anyone in your life. Now, more than ever, when people are so disconnected because of smartphones and social media, listening skills are critical. You can build better, more honest, and deeper relationships by simply being there, paying attention, and asking questions that make the speaker feel like what they have to say matters. Always keep in mind what you would want if you were the speaker.
| | CALL (OR) EMAIL 904.830.0737 | help@drpamrussell.com
| | | | | |
Employment Offer A God Send, Inc. A federal 501(c)(3) non-profit has an offer for administrative support. The position is: - Part-time, one day slated for Friday. However, the day is negotiable.
- Payment is by 1099, NOT W-2
- $10.00/hr. more depending on experience
- More information can be found in the position description.
- If you want to apply, click here.
- If you know someone who is looking to work, please forward this information. You can also contact me, and I will reach out.
| | | | | |
.png){kind=logo}
